Thursday, October 20, 2011

Response #1 - week 8

“wide-mouthed” and “opened-mouthed” sound weird being so close together. Love the part, “maybe if it hit me I would have become clean”, it reminds me of a poem where a young girl is subjected to racism and she scrubs herself till her skin burns in the shower trying to clean her body of her skin color. “Without streaks” seems a little reiterative of clean and unnecessary to have in the poem. I liked the adding of blue at the end, conveying the emotion and the literal dye in the bottle of Windex. The questions at the end all close together is very claustrophobic and needs to be thinned out and possible spread out. Otherwise it is a very compelling piece. 

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